Finding Her (2/2)
by Vickie Moseley
vickiemoseley1978@yahoo.com

He slept for the rest of the morning.  When Scully 
came back at lunchtime, he knew she was seeking 
forgiveness.

"Italian beef and fries from Tony's?  Scully, that's 
all the way out in Northeast," he mumbled happily 
around a mouth full of sub roll and meat, juices 
trickling down his chin.

She grinned and gingerly took a bite of her roast 
chicken on whole wheat.  "It's not that far out of the 
way, Mulder.  And you were saying the other day 
that we haven't been by there for a while.  'Jonesin' 
for some Tony's' I believe you put it."

He finished the whole sandwich and left only 
enough fries for her to steal while he was getting 
himself another glass of iced tea.  She knew she was 
forgiven.

"So, how's the headache?" she asked when he 
returned to find the fry wrapper empty.  

He grinned at her as she gave him an innocent look.  
"The headache is much better."

"No more dreams of Sam Chaney?"

He thought for a moment.  "No.  No dreams that I 
can remember.  I feel a lot better."

"Which means that you're doing exactly what you 
should be doing -- resting," she chided.

"I could come in for just a couple of -- "

"Mulder, I really think you should just take it easy.  
I know it's a pain to be cooped up, but you were 
really feeling lousy this morning.  Don't tempt a 
relapse.  Stay home today and tomorrow and we'll 
see how it goes from there."  

He started to object when he realized she was 
offering to let him back one day earlier than his 
doctor had suggested.  "OK.  I'll stay home from 
school again, Mom," he teased.  "But if the coach 
benches me for missing practice, it's on your head."

"I'll take my chances," she said with a grin.  "Now, I 
have to get back to work.  I'll come by later.  If 
you're good, I'll bring Thai."

"From the place on Penn?"

"None other.  They're open for dinner and carryout.  
I'll even get sticky rice."

"Sounds like a plan.  Thanks, Scully.  Thanks for 
looking out for me, even if it's counter to what I 
think."

She shook her head and smirked.  "Just stay put and 
get some more rest.  Read a book, watch some of 
those videos you don't own, just take it easy.  OK?"

"I promise."

He watched some television, flipped through a 
couple of magazines and was still bored out of his 
skull by 2:30.  He briefly wondered if dying of 
boredom was a worse fate than dying of intracranial 
bleeding.  He decided it wasn't, but he'd made a 
promise to Scully.  He was trying to keep more of 
his promises to her, especially since she'd been 
returned to him.  It wasn't much, but it was the least 
he could do.

His body was resting but his mind wouldn't shut off.  
He thought back on what he knew.  Sam Chaney 
and Tim Ledbetter had been agents in the DC 
bureau back in 1942.  There might still be some 
records on them.  He grabbed his cordless phone off 
the desk and dialed a number he knew by heart.

"Danny?  Mulder.  Yeah, I'm at home 'resting'.  
Hey, Skinner wants me to write up something on 
Sam Chaney, the agent who was killed investigating 
a serial murderer/rapist back in 1942.  Scully and I 
found the remains.  Yeah, Sam Chaney, with an 'a' 
then an 'e y'.  Just fax it over to my apartment.  You 
know the number, right?  Great, thanks!"

By the time Scully arrived with dinner, he'd put in 
three more calls for information and was in debt to 
Danny for four box seats at the Orioles home 
opener, but it was worth it.  He had every scrap of 
information on both Sam Chaney and Tim 
Ledbetter, which was a sizable amount.  

"Mulder, when I said you should rest -- "

"I never left the couch, Scully.  Well, except to refill 
the paper tray on my fax," Mulder looked up from 
the papers spread across his coffee table.  "Did you 
know that Chaney was a lawyer?  And Ledbetter 
had been a deputy sheriff in Baltimore before 
joining the Bureau."

"You don't say," she muttered absently.  "Mulder, 
where do you want to eat?"  She held up the bags of 
dripping take out.  

"Oh, yeah, sorry," he replied and hastily grabbed his 
mail and several days newspapers off the kitchen 
table.  "I'll get some plates."

"No, you sit.  I'll get the plates," she told him.  After 
setting the table, she filled their glasses with iced 
tea and started removing food containers from the 
bags.  A folded sheet of paper scuttled across the 
table to land on Mulder's lap.

"What's this?" he asked, holding it up for 
inspection.

"Their menu.  They deliver, but not outside of the 
District.  Still, some night when we're working out 
of my place -- "  She stopped talking when she 
realized Mulder wasn't listening.  He'd stood and 
was walking the menu over to his desk, where he 
rifled through a drawer and was examining the 
menu with a magnifying glass.  "Mulder?  What is 
it?"

"Does this look like Sam Chaney in this picture?" 
he asked, walking the menu and the magnifier back 
to her.

"Mulder," she said, not looking at the picture.  "You 
have to stop with this obsession!"

"Scully, would you just look?" he asked through 
gritted teeth.

She took the menu and the glass, looking at the 
picture.  It was the same picture she'd seen framed 
on the wall of the restaurant.  After a moment she 
handed the menu and the glass back to Mulder.  
"Yes, that does look like him.  But Mulder, the guy 
in the back row is a dead ringer for my Uncle 
Buddy and I can swear to you that he was in the 
South Pacific in 1942!"

"That woman, Scully.  The one next to Chaney?  
That's her.  That's Helen!"

"Mulder," she said, her voice low.  "Put that away 
and come eat."

He didn't move for a moment and she continued to 
glare at him.  "You sound just like my mother," he 
groused as he walked back to the kitchen.

"Leave your mother out of this.  Now eat.  We'll 
look at pictures after dinner."

He ate all his Pad Thai and more than his share of 
the sticky rice, but that satisfied Scully, so she 
agreed to take a look at all the files he'd amassed 
over the afternoon.  Mulder kept looking at the 
picture as she read through the pages of the 
impromptu report he'd compiled.

"Mulder, did it occur to you that you're just seeing 
Chaney in that picture because we were just there so 
soon after the case?" she asked as sat glued to the 
grainy photo on the front of the menu.

He looked over at her, exasperation evident.  
"Scully, this is the woman in my dream."

"And I know that sometimes the mind can make 
leaps and see correlations that aren't really there," 
she countered.

"Like an optical allusion?  Scully, I've been having 
these dreams since BJ tried to open my skull with 
that fire extinguisher.  I've seen this woman in 
almost every one of those dreams."

"Well, looking at the picture isn't going to tell us 
who she is, Mulder."

"She loved him.  God, how awful that must have 
been.  They didn't find a body, she might not have 
known anything was amiss for weeks because travel 
was a lot harder before Ike and the interstate 
system.  She was waiting for him for who knows 
how long," Mulder mused, pulling on his lip.

"Mulder," Scully said, stopping his hand.  "Maybe 
you're relating a little here," she said softly.

His eyes flashed, he bolted out of the chair, was 
halfway down the hallway before he turned around 
and spoke.  "I hope to God you never have to wait 
for someone, Scully.  I hope you never wonder, for 
years, what might have happened to them."

She sat in the near darkness of his living room.  She 
knew he needed to calm down, but she also knew 
she'd drawn blood.  It had been unintentional, but 
that didn't really matter.  She'd still caused him pain.  
When he came back into the room he sat on the 
chair across from her, his expression masked.

"Mulder, I'm sorry.  I - I just think you're getting in 
awfully deep here.  You're still recovering from a 
serious blow to the head.  I don't want you to get 
hurt."

He drew in a deep breath and nodded.  "I know, 
Scully.  But I also feel that if I can find this woman, 
let her know what happened, maybe I can give her 
some peace.  I would hope that someone would do 
the same for me, if it ever comes to that."

Scully nodded slowly.  She picked up the pages and 
started to read through them.  She looked up 
suddenly when she something crossed her mind.  
"Mulder, tell me your dreams.  Can you remember 
them?"

He tilted his head.  "I think so.  The first one I was 
sitting in the bull pen, but it wasn't the one on 6th 
floor.  I think it was in the old FBI Building.  And 
this woman came up to me and said 'Hi, 
handsome'."

"She came up to you in the bull pen?  Mulder, 
maybe she worked with Chaney.  Maybe she was 
someone in the building at the time."

A slow smile grew across his face.  "Scully, you're 
brilliant!  She was probably a secretary or 
something.  We just need a list of all the female 
employees who might have worked around Chaney 
and Ledbetter in 1942."

"And then figure out where they are today.  Mulder, 
this is still no small task and you are far from 100 
percent.  I'll go along with this trip, Don Quixote, 
but you let me do the legwork."

"When we find her, Scully, I'd like to be there to tell 
her."

"If we find her, Mulder, I will make sure you are."

The next day
11:30 am

Mulder had fallen asleep not long after Scully had 
left the night before and slept until 9.  It was a 
record for him, but now he was bored and restless.  
Scully had threatened all sorts of torture if he 
attempted to go running, and he'd caught up on his 
mail and paid his bills.  He'd even run through the 
124 cable networks, until he realized he was 
watching the Home Shoppers Channel and he 
turned off the TV in disgust.  Now, he was 
bouncing his basketball and planning an escape 
route so that his neighbor near the front door 
couldn't tell Scully he'd gone out.

The knock on the door startled him, but he was 
overjoyed at the diversion.  He answered it and 
Scully pushed past him, more food bags in her 
hands.

"You know, I do have food here," he said with a 
wry grin.  "You don't have to bring provisions every 
time you come over."

"I've seen your refrigerator, Mulder.  I wouldn't put 
petri dishes in that thing.  Besides, it was on the 
way."  She pulled out two large deli sandwiches, a 
bag of chips for him, side salad for her and two cans 
of soda.  

"So, what did you dig up this morning?" he asked as 
he sat down and picked up his sandwich.  He smiled 
at her choice for him, roast beef with mustard, just 
the way he liked it.

"Well, I didn't have much time, I had an autopsy 
consult.  But I was able to come up with a list of all 
the clerical staff from 1942.  It was in the Annual 
Report to Congress, in an appendix."  She handed 
him the copies she'd made of several pages of the 
report.

He ran his eyes over the list and grimaced.  "I never 
realized Helen was such a popular name in the 
40's," he said with a tired sigh.  "There must be 
sixty Helen's on this list."

"Well, I have two Aunt Helens, one on each side of 
the family," Scully said with a shrug.  "So, anyway, 
we have someplace to start."

"Maybe we can narrow it down a little.  Is there 
anything approximating an org chart in that report 
you found?"

"Organizational charts weren't big until the 60s, 
Mulder.  Before then it was king bee and worker 
bees," she replied around bites of salad.  At his 
disappointed expression, she relented.  "I'll see what 
I can dig up tomorrow.  I'll go down to the stacks 
and see if there is anything related directly to 
clerical or support staff.  But it comes at a price," 
she said, staring at him.

He sighed.  "Stay home, rest, be a good little 
invalid," he chanted.

"I never called you an invalid, Mulder.  But you are 
on medical leave and that means you're supposed to 
be resting and getting better."

"I haven't had a headache since yesterday.  I feel a 
lot better, Scully."

"Good, that means you're _almost_ there!" she said 
happily.  "It's like when I was little and we got to 
Communion during Mass.  I always wanted to leave 
right then, when everyone was walking up to the 
altar.  But we still had the closing and the 
recessional song."

"Are you telling me I have to wait for the fat lady to 
sing?" he asked derisively.

"One more song, Mulder.  Then you get out in the 
sunshine.  Just stay home taking it easy until 
Monday, which is only three more days, and I'll 
personally vouch for you to the doctor."

"All that for looking up old support staff records?  
You drive a hard bargain, Scully."

"Take it or leave it," she said with a smug grin.

"One more song, Scully.  I'll take your offer.  But it 
better be a quick song!"  

 Friday
9:15 am

Scully had hung around, watching old horror 
movies with him until eleven.  He was surprised 
that he'd actually fallen asleep after she left and was 
disappointed when he woke up without 
remembering any of his dreams.

It had become a promise, somewhere along the line.  
It went beyond the pain of losing someone and 
never knowing what really happened.  He thought 
about Scully and his mother.  If anything ever 
happened to him, he would want the people left 
behind to have some closure.  He was sure Sam 
Chaney felt the same way.

It was a whim that made him grab his car keys and 
head downtown.  The restaurant opened at 11, but 
the manager was there, cleaning up and preparing 
for the day.  One flash of the badge and Mulder was 
in the door, standing in the lobby where he'd first 
seen the picture.

"Do you mind if I take a look at this?"

The owner shook his head.  The man was trying so 
hard to be helpful.  "Take it out of the frame, if you 
like," he offered.

The frame was nice, but discount store variety.  The 
back slid out and Mulder was able to take the photo 
out easily.  

"There are others, we found a whole drawer full of 
them.  Would you like to see?"

Mulder was studying the back of the photo.  In 
small, cursive writing some previous owner had 
listed the names of the people in the photo.  He 
found T. Ledbetter and S. Chaney and next to that 
was the name H. Miller.

Helen Miller.  It was enough to keep the search 
going.

"No, thank you, I found what I needed," Mulder 
assured the anxious little man.  He put the photo 
back in the frame and handed it to the owner.  
"You've been a tremendous help.  Oh, and your Pad 
Thai is excellent."

The little man beamed from ear to ear.  "Thank you.  
Come back, any time!"

Now he had a name, but that was all he had.  Back 
at his car, he pulled out the sheets of clerical names 
Scully had found at the Bureau.  There was a Helen 
Miller listed.  He knew where she was in 1942.  The 
real question was where she was in 1995.  She had 
looked young in the picture, but he knew from 
experience that all women worked hard at not 
looking their age.  She could have been twenty 
something to thirty something.  That would put her 
anywhere from 73 years old to 83 or even long 
passed.

At the realization that he was very likely tracking 
down a woman in her grave, the wind went out of 
his sails.  He was tired and the point behind his left 
eye was starting to throb again.  What was he 
doing?  Chasing after a woman on the basis of a 
couple of nightmares?

By the time he got to his apartment, he was 
exhausted and his head felt ready to explode.  Not 
to mention a very angry Agent Scully greeted him.

"Where were you?" she demanded the minute he 
entered his apartment.  On closeer appraisal, she 
softened her tone and helped him to his couch.  
"Mulder, lie down.  I'll get the Tylenol."  He hurt so 
bad he couldn't keep his eyes open.  He could hear 
her in the kitchen and then he felt her touch his arm 
when she returned with water and the pills.  

He rolled forward just enough to take the medicine 
without spilling the water and then slumped back 
again.  She sat on the edge of the coffee table and 
waited, giving him a couple of minutes for the pills 
to kick in.

"I went back to the restaurant," he said quietly, in 
deference to his pounding skull.

"You forgot your cell phone," she interjected.

He cracked open one eye.  "I guess so.  Sorry."

She didn't reply, just took a deep breath, steeling 
herself for whatever he was going to tell her.

"The woman's name is Helen Miller.  The picture 
had the names listed on the back.  The list you 
found has a Helen Miller listed as a secretary at the 
Bureau in 1942."

"Good work," she replied.  "If it was worth this 
headache."

"Why do I still have a headache?" he asked, rubbing 
his temple.  "I've been sleeping, I've been resting -- 
"

"You've been working on this dream of yours as if 
it's a case, Mulder," she chided.  "Not to mention 
how busy we've been lately.  Plus, I think . . . 
maybe you aren't fully recovered from . . ."

The pills were working enough for him to shift and 
look at her with both eyes.  "Recovered from 
what?" he demanded.

She bit her lip, obviously uncomfortable with the 
topic.  "Mom said something the other day.  She 
said while I was gone you didn't take very good 
care of yourself."  Scully dropped her eyes to the 
floor, not wanting to argue her mother's statement, 
or reveal that her mother had been very worried 
about her partner during her disappearance.

"I didn't sleep much," he admitted.  He wasn't 
comfortable talking about it either, so he slowly sat 
up and leaned his head back against the top of the 
couch.  "I'm just getting old," he said finally.

"Yeah, that's it," she replied with a wicked grin.  
"Look, we have a name, we know she was a Bureau 
employee.  It shouldn't be too hard to track her 
down.  Let me see what I can find this afternoon.  
As for you -- "

He held up his hand.  "Look, Scully if you want me 
to do anything other than lay on this couch and 
watch Aussie Rules football, I'm sorry, I just don't 
think I'm up to it," he said with a smirk.  He'd 
beaten her to the punch and he knew it.  She shook 
her head and started for the door.

"Mulder," she said in a warning voice.

"Shh, Scully.  I'm watching the game," he told her 
as he clicked up the volume on the television set 
where men wearing very short shorts were throwing 
a bloated football across the field.  If she stopped to 
watch with him for a few minutes, she'd never get to 
the office.  

"See you later," she said with a smile.  His response 
was just an absent-minded wave of his hand.

The wind was tremendous and he looked around, 
trying to figure out where he was.  An airport.  An 
old airport.  He glanced over at the terminal 
building and saw the word 'National'.  He was 
standing on the tarmac, just yards from an vintage 
DC-3 emblazoned with the words 'TransWorld 
Airlines'.

"Send me a telegram when you get there, so I know 
you're OK."  It was Helen.  He turned and looked 
down into her green eyes.  

"I promise," he told her.

"C'mon, this baby won't wait forever," Ledbetter 
chided as he headed off for the stairs leading up to 
the door of the plane.

"I have to go," he said softly as she wrapped her 
arms around him.

"I'll miss you," she said tearfully.

"I'll miss you, too.  I-I love you," he said and gently 
pulled her arms from his waist.

"I love you," she shouted after him.

He waved one last time and ducked his head so the 
wind from the propellers wouldn't knock off his hat.  
When he got to the top step, just before he entered 
the body of the plane, he turned and looked back. 

It was Scully standing on the tarmac, waving at him 
and blowing him a kiss.

He awoke with a start and sat straight up.  It took a 
few minutes to get his breathing under control.  
Damn these dreams!  Wasn't it enough that he had 
weekly nightmares about his sister and Scully's 
abductions?  Now he had to endure someone else's 
nightmares, too?

He looked around the apartment and sighed.  He 
needed to get his mind off these dreams.  Scully 
was right, he was obsessing about this woman.  But 
he knew something Scully didn't know.  The only 
way he could get his mind off the hunt was to get 
his body moving.  It wasn't like the stupid 
headaches were going away, anyway.  

Nothing strenuous.  A run?  Nah, when he was tied 
up in mental knots he had a tendency to overdo on 
the track.  Not a good option.  His survey of his 
living room produced nothing to his liking until his 
eyes fell upon the round object hidden under the 
corner of his desk.  Basketball.  It was technically a 
non-contact sport.  There was always a game going 
on down at the corner.  He suspected that if he was 
ever to leave the FBI and become a truant officer 
he'd have a field day at that park, but that day wasn't 
coming soon.  

He rolled off the couch and picked up the ball, 
grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

Hegal Place was all apartment buildings, built in the 
late 30s.  In some stroke of civic wisdom, the city 
fathers had erected a small park in the forest of 
brownstone and mortar.  One side had playground 
equipment and a few patches of grass, the other side 
had a basketball court enclosed in hurricane 
fencing.  As Mulder predicted, there was a pick up 
game going on.

"Hey, look, it's the old guy," one of the participants, 
a tall handsome latino young man called out.

"He don' like it when you call him 'old', Julio," 
replied an equally tall dark skinned youth with a 
winning smile.  "What's that word again, Mr. M?"

"Vintage, Keyon.  I'm 'vintage'."

"Yeah, right," smirked another youth.  "Like my old 
man's '78 Harley.  'Course, it don't got no engine," 
he added with a snort.

"I can see you managed to miss English class again, 
Kevin, my man," Mulder said with a grin and put 
his ball down against the fence.  "Who's up for a 
game?  Two on two, I'll take Keyon."

It was warm in the sunshine, even though the 
temperature was hovering near 40 degrees.  Mulder 
soon removed his sweatshit, revealing his tee-shirt, 
which was quickly soaked in perspiration.   The 
three boys were only half his age and in very good 
shape.  They were definitely not of the couch potato 
generation, he mused as Julio made a perfect three 
pointer from mid court.

"We're down by four, Mr. M.  Let's see some 
hustle," Keyon yelled to his teammate as he started 
to dribble down the court, fending off Kevin's 
attempts to get the ball.  Mulder loped down to the 
key, waving his arms to signal he was ready.  
Keyon feinted, dribbled and then let the ball sail, 
just as Julio plowed into Mulder, knocking him to 
the ground.

"Foul!  Julio, you dumb asshole!  You fouled him!" 
Kevin yelled, putting his arms on his hips.  

It was Keyon who noticed the older man didn't 
seem to be moving to get up.  "Kev, Julio, help me 
get him up," Keyon shouted as he trotted over to the 
agent lying on the ground.

"No, wait, I remember this from health class.  Don't 
move him, it coulda broke his back!" Kevin said 
urgently, throwing his arm out to stop Keyon.

"Julio knocked him down, he didn't get hit by a car!  
Oh damn it --" Keyon said as he fell down to his 
knees next to his teammate.  "He hit his head on the 
cement.  Shit, he's bleeding!"

"Oh, damn, I killed him," Julio cried out.  "My 
mom is gonna shit a brick!"

"Calm down, he ain't dead," Kevin assured his 
friend.  "He's breathin'.  See?"

Keyon was chewing on his lip.  "He don't look like 
he's breathin' too good," he said in quick 
assessment.  "Did he bring his cell phone?"  
Quickly, he checked Mulder's pockets.  "Check over 
where he tossed his jacket."

Julio was happy to be doing anything productive.  
He checked the jacket and the sweatshirt.  "Keys, 
but no phone.  Now what do we do?"

"My grandma's home.  I'll go get her.  Wait here," 
he said, but it was obvious no one was moving from 
their spots.

Mulder had to be dreaming.  The room was dark, 
but it wasn't his living room.  There were lace 
curtains on the window and lace trim on the cloth 
covering the table by the chair.  He was lying down 
and his head felt ready to split in two.  And when he 
looked up at the wall, a framed picture of Helen 
Miller was staring back at him.

"You're awake!  Here, I have ice for your head."  A 
woman's voice sounded behind him and he turned, 
but it caused his vision to blur and then double, so 
he lay back down and slammed his eyes shut.  He 
felt something cold and wet pressed against his 
forehead, causing his stomach to churn.  He opened 
one eye to a slit and tried to focus.  Helen Miller 
looked down at him again, but she looked different, 
older.  Much older.

Scully's gonna be so pissed, he thought and let a 
groan slip between his lips.

"I've called for an ambulance.  The boys were so 
frightened, you didn't wake up even after they 
carried you in here."  

He tried to sit up but she forced him back to the 
cushions.  "No, I think you need to stay still.  The 
paramedics will be here soon."

Mulder wanted to thank her, but was too busy 
passing out again.

Georgetown University Medical Center
Saturday
8:45 pm

He recognized the smells, bleach and rubbing 
alcohol.  Then he recognized the sounds, rubber 
soled shoes on tile, soft chimes and a public address 
system on mute.  

All that was missing  was . . .

He opened his eyes as far as he could, which turned 
out to be half-mast, and there she was -- Scully -- 
sitting by his bed reading his chart.

"Quit playing possum, Mulder.  I could tell you 
were awake from the spikes in your EEG," she said 
with her eyes never leaving the chart, her mouth 
twisted into a scowl.

He licked his lips and blinked his eyes open a little 
farther.  She was still blurry but when she finally 
looked up at him he couldn't miss the fire in her 
eyes.

"Basketball, Mulder?  That's your idea of resting?  
Playing basketball with a bunch of teenagers?"

He closed his eyes.  He knew he should just accept 
his punishment, but he was so thirsty.  "Water?" he 
croaked.

She looked like she wanted to pour the water on his 
head, but thought better of it.  She filled a styrofoam 
cup, added a straw and brought it to his lips.  He 
drank greedily and then let his head drop back to the 
pillow.

"I'm sorry.  I was just -- "

"You were just damn lucky, Mulder!  You could 
have done permanent damage to your brain.  Thank 
god you have such a thick skull!"

"I guess I deserve that," he mumbled and tried to 
sink further into the bed, to avoid her shouting.

"What I can't believe is how you can do something 
so stupid and yet stumble onto exactly what you 
were looking for.  How do you do that, Mulder?  I 
really want to know how you manage to do that."

He perked up a bit and looked over at her.  "Did I 
miss something?"

Scully leaned down and rifled through her briefcase.  
Sitting back up, she opened a file folder.  "While 
you were trying to commit suicide through athletics, 
I was working on that name you gave me.  I came 
up with up with something very interesting.  Helen 
Miller worked for the Bureau as a typist in the 
Violent Crimes Division from 1939 until her 
retirement in 1979."

"She worked there 40 years," Mulder said with a 
low whistle.

"Save for one year, 1943.  She didn't take a leave of 
absence; they didn't have that in those days.  She 
quit and was rehired one year later."

He chewed on his lip, confusion obvious on his 
face.

"She had a child, Mulder.  A baby boy.  She lived 
with her parents and they helped her raise her son."

He closed his eyes.  It was Chaney's child, he was 
sure of it.  What Helen must have gone through 
during that time?

"Anyway, when her parents died, she moved to a 
small two bedroom apartment in Arlington.  On 
Hegal Place."  Scully sat back with a smug 
expression, waiting for Mulder to piece together the 
puzzle she'd laid out.

"That picture on the wall  . . . I woke up for a 
moment and I thought it was another dream . . ."

"You played basketball with Helen's grandson, 
Mulder.  Kevin Miller."

"I never knew the kids last names, Scully," he 
whispered in awe.

She looked dubious, but didn't question him on it.  
"Well, Ms. Miller saved your life.  She called for an 
ambulance after the boys carried you off the 
playground.  You hit your head hard enough to 
cause a small intracranial bleed, Mulder.  You could 
have died if help hadn't reached you so soon."

He started to sit up in bed and the pain and Scully's 
hand pushed him back against the pillows.  "Does 
she know, Scully?  Did you tell her?"

Scully smiled affectionately at him.  "It's your story 
to tell, Mulder.  Kevin was concerned about you, as 
was his grandmother.  I told them that you would 
need to rest today, but that they could come up and 
visit you tomorrow.  Visiting hours are from 1 to 4.  
I expect them to come up as soon as you finish 
lunch."

He breathed deeply, feeling relaxed for the first 
time since they'd returned from Aubrey.  "I need a 
favor, Scully," he started.

"If you want me to go past you apartment and bring 
up Sam's badge, I'm a step ahead of you.  I talked to 
Skinner.  He said it would be better for Helen to 
have it, maybe give it to her son.  The Bureau has 
plenty of old badges in the museum."

"Thanks, Scully.  I owe you," he said with a 
contented sigh.

"Good.  I'll collect right now.  You do me a favor 
and go back to sleep.  And this time when they 
release you, Mulder, you are staying at my 
apartment until you are back on your feet, no 
argument.  Agreed?"

"Until you get tired of me and kick me out," he said 
with a grin.  "I have a habit of making life 
miserable."

"Oh, believe me, I can make your life just as 
miserable as you can make mine," she assured him, 
but the twinkle in her eyes softened the blow of her 
words.

Georgetown University Medical Center
Sunday
1:15 pm

Helen Miller's gray green eyes filled with tears as 
Mulder placed the gold shield in her hand, closing 
her fingers over it.

"He wanted you to have it," he said softly.

"I was 18 years old when I got the job at the FBI, 
Agent Mulder.  All the young agents were always 
asking the secretaries out, but it was frowned on 
back on those days.  The only one I couldn't refuse 
was Sam.  We'd been seeing each other a year when 
he proposed and then he went to Missouri on that 
awful case.   I waited.  I waited and prayed that he 
would turn up.  They told me he was probably dead, 
but there were times I hoped that he'd just gotten 
cold feet and run off with another woman . . ."

"He loved you too much for that," Mulder said 
quietly, but with conviction.  "I think that's why he 
came to me.  He couldn't let you think that."

"After all these years, to know for certain.  It's a 
relief, but it hurts to know that he died out there, all 
alone," she said and the sob she was holding finally 
broke free.  "He was the only man I ever loved."

"I'm so sorry for your loss," Mulder said in 
measured tones.  "But I think . . . I think he's at 
peace now.  I think he feels like he's finally come 
home."

Helen looked into Mulder's eyes and smiled.  "He 
came to you in your dreams?" she asked.  Mulder 
nodded, unsure of what to say.  Helen got a far 
away look to her eyes.  "I used to dream about him.  
Every night for years and years."  She looked down 
at the shield in her hand.  "I think I'll probably 
dream about him tonight."

Scully's apartment
A week later

Mulder woke up and looked around.  It wasn't his 
apartment.  Beige colored walls, beige colored 
curtains on the windows, beige carpeting.  Oh, yeah, 
he was at Scully's, in her guest room.  He rolled 
over and tried to remember his dream.  Nothing 
about it came to him.

"Hey, it's almost noon.  Ready for some lunch?" 
Scully asked from the doorway.  He blinked at her.  
She was wearing casual clothes, jeans and a 
sweater.  Was it the weekend?  Time really did fly 
when you had a head injury, he mused.

"Yeah," he said, his voice raspy from sleep.  "I am 
kinda hungry."

"I made sub sandwiches and iced tea.  You go wash 
up and we can eat in the dining room.  I have a 
surprise for you."

He met her in the dining room and immediately 
noticed the pie sitting on the table.  "Is that the 
surprise -- sweet potato pie?" he asked, breaking 
into a grin.

"Actually, I think it's pumpkin but don't hold me to 
that.  I didn't make it," Scully replied as she filled 
two glasses with tea.  "Kevin Miller dropped it by a 
little while ago.  It's a 'thank you' present from 
Helen."

"That was nice of her but she didn't have to do that," 
he said, settling in his seat and sipping at his tea.  
"Sandwiches look good, Scully."

"Thanks.  It's an art, tossing meat and sliced 
tomatoes on hoagie rolls," she said with a smirk.  
When he didn't come back with a smart remark she 
looked over at him.  "Mulder, are you all right?  Do 
you have another headache?"

He looked up quickly and shook his head.  "No, I 
was just thinking."

"About Samantha," she asked quietly.

He shook his head slowly.  "No, really.  About you.  
When you were . . ."  Even after two months time, 
he couldn't say the words.  "I was remembering the 
time when you were gone . . .  Meeting Helen, 
knowing a little of what she went through, it just 
makes me think.  It could have been so much 
worse."  He couldn't meet her eyes, just stared at his 
empty plate.

She reached across the table and squeezed his hand.  
"But I'm back, Mulder.  We have to go forward."

He looked at their hands, entwined on the table, and 
up at her face, smiling at him.  "Yeah.  We have to 
go on."

the end.