Date: Sunday, February 27, 2000

Title: Mulder's Inferno
Author: Vickie Moseley vickiemoseley1978@yahoo.com
Summary: More fill in the blank for Signs and Wonders. Mulder's POV
Spoilers: Signs and Wonders explicit and implied
Rating: PG
Category: V A MT
Archive: yes to MTA, Xemplary, Ephemeral, and Gossamer. All others,
please let me know where you put it.
Disclaimer: Watched it again and STILL liked it. The snake shots were
cool! But you left out such good stuff, Chris. I knew you did that so we
would all be inspired to write the gapping holes. You are such a sweetie!
I promise not to take any money for this or infringe on your copyright.
Note: Yes, the title is a reference to Dante. Don't know what I'm talking
about? Go look it up and read it!
Comments: I couldn't leave it alone. Sorry.
Thanks to Susan, with the patience of a saint. I will get back to editing,
I promise! And to Michelle, Donna and Sally, you guys are great! And Ten,
he isn't wearing any pants through this whole story :)

Mulder's Inferno
By Vickie Moseley
vickiemoseley1978@yahoo.com

Blessing Community Church
As the last snake trails away . . .

I'm burning.

Burning in hell.

I can feel the fires moving up the tendons of my arms, my legs. Searing
the muscles of my neck, my face. My hands are consumed.

I'm dead and I'll be in this agony for eternity.

A touch so cold that it's painful forces me to open my eyes. If I'm dead,
why is Scully staring down at me? Do the dead, the condemned, have to view
the lives they left behind? Is that just another level of the anguish I've
been sentenced to endure?

I want to close my eyes, I can't look at her now. But she's talking, and
her voice is the only balm my burning body can find.

"Mulder, the ambulance is on the way."

I don't need an ambulance now, Scully, I want to tell her. I need a
plenary indulgence. I need someone to pray me out of hell. The only
person who would even think to do that is you.

She's pulling at my shirt, and I'm amazed it isn't falling away in ash and
charred fabric. How can it be white and whole when I'm burning? I realize
then, that's how it's done. That's how you can endure an eternity of fire
and damnation. You don't burn from the outside in, you burn from the
inside out. It's all so simple now.

But God, the pain is incredible! I want to be senseless, I would welcome
any and all drugs Scully might deem to let them shove in my veins.
Demoral, morphine, torodol, codeine bring on the ampoules, the bottles, the
bags. Hang them from the ceiling fan and just let them drip in my open
mouth. Or better yet, use any of the countless holes in my skin and pour
the stuff in my veins by means of a garden hose. Just make this burning
pain go away, please!

But that's not the point. The point is punishment. Forever and ever to be
consumed by the fires of hell. I'm beyond salvation. I've sinned so
greatly that I can't be redeemed. I'm beyond all hope. 'Abandon all hope,
ye who enter here.' I see now how that makes sense. Hope just adds to the
pain. Because the pain never ends. The pain always returns.

Is pride the worst of the seven deadly sins? I wish I'd paid more
attention to that movie 'Seven', but I kept getting distracted by Brad
Pitt's wife. At least I'm not being punished for gluttony. I still can't
look a plate of spaghetti in the eye.

Pride. I was proud. I was sure. I didn't follow my heart, I let my head
do all the talking. That was my sin. I didn't see the signs, didn't feel
the wonder.

When I was walking through the little church in the backwoods, I couldn't
help but feel the peace. It didn't feel evil. I wasn't afraid to be
there. Not even after we came up close and personal with the legless
watchdogs. It didn't trigger my profiling senses. And neither did Enoch,
until he tried to harm Scully.

"It could have been mighty good news," he told me. We could have found out
that Scully is righteous, in the most fundamentalist form of the word. But
in that, too, I was proud. Proud of Scully. I didn't need a test from God
to tell me that Scully is righteous. I know that already. So I dismissed
the lesson, didn't hear what was being said to me. It was a warning. A
warning that I needed to be righteous, too. I didn't hear that. Seems I
keep missing those little warnings. Not that it's going to matter any
more. Maybe the only perk to hell is that there are no new opportunities
to miss. Just the old ones that play in an endless loop in your mind.

There is noise and confusion around me, Scully is talking to someone and I
feel more cold, painful hands on me. They are trying to be gentle, but any
movement, any light caress is agony. That much more so when I'm being
tugged and lifted, things are strapped on my face, jabbing into the skin at
the backs of my hands.

If they cut into my skin will the hellfire in my muscles erupt out in
tongues of flames? Stand back, Scully! I don't want you to get burned!

"He's trying to talk. He said 'stand back' or something like it."

"He's delirious. Base says we can start him on morphine. The woman's a
doctor, she's riding with us."

And now cold is here, dancing with the fire in my veins. A torrent of cold
at first, then just a rush, finally a trickle as it reaches the nerve
endings, fights for control over the fire. Smothers it. Smothers me.
Gives me peace.

I dream I'm in a field. The sun is out, it's warm, but not burning. If I
look down, I can see two ruts in the grass, two paths. They diverge a few
feet from me. I know I must choose, but I have nothing to guide me. There
are no markers, no signs for directions. So, I sit, rather than go down
the wrong path.

I grow tired and lie back, letting the sun kiss my face, close my eyes. I
sleep, hoping in sleep I can find my way.

I awake, on some level, to find the snakes are back and the field is on
fire. The flames inch closer and closer and surround me. The snakes curl
around my feet, holding me in place. They strike out with fangs as hot as
the surface of the sun. Beyond the snakes, the fire is closing in. I can
feel my face redden in the heat. I try to bring my arms up to cover my
face, but they're already on fire, and too leaden to move. I look down and
see a giant snake has coiled around my body, holding my arms at my sides.
I can feel the sweat pouring from my body, but it's never going to be
enough to extinguish the fire. The snakes bite and bite and I'm lost,
because I didn't choose.

"Mulder, the nurse is coming with another dose of morphine. I know it
hurts, just try to stay calm. Thrashing only makes it worse."

She's holding my hands down, leaning against me. Pushing me into the
flames all around. The snakes aren't biting her. Careful, Scully, careful
of the snakes. But I forgot, she's righteous. The snakes won't bite her.
She's on God's side. God, Scully - why? Why are you doing this to me?
Why won't you help me, why are you torturing me? Does God ask the
righteous to torture the condemned? So much for the fairy tale of a loving
and forgiving God!

Suddenly it begins to rain. It starts in my veins and then falls from the
skies. The sun is hidden behind the clouds and the breeze comes up and
wipes the tears from my cheeks. Cool. So cool. The snakes loosen their
grip around me. I sleep once more.

When I find myself in the field again, I know I can't lie down. That's how
the snakes get to me. I have to keep moving, have to run. I look around
for the two paths, only to find they've multiplied. Now there are paths in
every compass point and then some in-between. I search around the horizon,
trying to find something to give me direction. I need a signpost. I need
a guide. Scully. I need Scully! But I don't see her. I can feel her
nearby, I can smell her perfume, even over the taste of iron and brimstone
in the back of my throat. But I can't see her. Scully!

"I'm here, Mulder. I'm right here. I'm holding your hand."

I look down and see my hand, but not hers. Yet, her skin is cool against
mine. It's holding my hand so gently, as if my skin will crumble with too
much pressure. She is so gentle with me I weep.

"Mulder, don't cry. It's all right. The serum is doing its job. You just
need to sleep."

No, I don't want to sleep! That means lying down, that means leaving
myself defenseless for the snakes to find again. No sleep!

"Shh, Mulder, shh. There are no more snakes. There is nothing here to
hurt you. I'm not leaving your side, OK? I won't let any snakes get to you."

I want to believe her promise, but she was there last time, helping the
snakes hold me in place so that fire could come and eat me.

No, that can't be right. Scully has never hurt me, she'd never help anyone
hurt me. I must be remembering that wrong. But I still know I can't
sleep. I have to find the right path. On the right path, I'll get out of
the field and away from the snakes and the fire.

I start to move down one of the paths, Scully's invisible hand still gently
clutching mine. I feel safer with her presence, even if it's ethereal.
She's one of the righteous. She doesn't have to walk through the fields of
hell. Yet she reached down from heaven to take my hand. I want to cry
again, but I don't. I just walk and let her hand in mine comfort me.

We approach a small wooded area, Scully's spirit and me. I see the trees,
they are all bare even though the field looked like it was springtime.
Maybe it's early spring. Maybe forests in hell never have leaves. I
decide the path I'm on is as good as any of the others and I enter the woods.

Immediately, I know something is wrong. I can't feel Scully's hand in
mine. I try to reach for it, but it's not there. I find that I've
continued to walk, run, actually, in an effort to find Scully. Now I'm in
the middle of the woods and the trees are surrounding me. Their branches
start to wave in the breeze.

They aren't branches.

They're snakes!

Hundreds, thousands of them! Hanging from the barren trees, slithering
around dried and dead limbs. A half dozen of them slide down and encircle
me. I'm frozen in my spot, I can't move! All I can do is watch as the
snakes coil around me, then start to squeeze. I can't breathe! The snakes
are crushing me!

One of them covers my mouth and I try to scream. More clutch at my arms,
pulling them away from my body. I feel them bite into me, and all air has
left my lungs.

Off in the distance, I hear Scully. She's shouting to someone, other
voices answer her. I can't breathe and her hand is gone and I took the
wrong path. I'm going to die . . . But I can't. I'm already dead, aren't I?

Air rushes into my lungs, pushing against the muscles to inflate them. I
drink in the air, it's so sweet, so cool. I've never felt anything like
it. I can hear Scully's voice again, calmer now. She's still talking to
other voices but I don't really have the strength to make out what they're
saying. I just want to stand here and breathe for a while.

The snakes are gone, back to hiding in the tree branches. I make no
mistake this time and hurry out of the forest.

Only to find myself back in the same field.

I'm lost. I sob with the hopelessness of my plight. Scully can't come to
me, she doesn't belong here. And if I stay, the snakes and the fire and
the trees will get me. There is nothing left for me to do.

I hear her voice. Scully is speaking. I can just barely make out the
words, her voice is so far away. I close my eyes and concentrate on the
sound of her voice as it's carried by the wind to my ears.

Suddenly, I know which path to take. I see it more clearly than any of the
other ruts through the field. It's right ahead of me. As I walk down it,
Scully's voice is getting stronger and stronger.

Hell wasn't keeping me, I was holding myself back. I was hopeless, not
looking where I needed to look. All I needed to do was wait and listen to
what Scully would tell me. She was right there, all the time. Leading me
out of hell's gates.

The field melts away. In it's place, the sounds of the hospital surround
me. I realize it's dark because my eyes are closed.

The fire is still there, smoldering in my muscles, but it's muted, less
than it was. I can live through it. Maybe a little more drugs would be nice.

But finally I drag my eyes open and see for myself. Sure enough, Scully is
there, sitting next to my bed. I want to talk to her, but there's a mask
over my face. She must have sensed what I was thinking, because she looks
up to my eyes.

Scully smiles. I try to smile back.

I've been redeemed.

The end

For another great story about Mulder walking through hell, go read
CindyET's 'The Devil's Roar'. I highly recommend it.

Vickie

"Duct Tape is like the Force.

It has a light side and a dark side
and it holds the universe together."

From a tee shirt at the Mall

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