From: Ten <kristena@ocean.com.au> Date: Thu, 11 Jan 2001 10:31:41 +1100 Subject: "Getting Some in the New Millennium" (1/1) by Ten Source: xff TITLE: "Getting Some in the New Millennium" (1/1) BY: Ten E-MAIL ADDRESS: kristena@ocean.com.au and/or kristena@netconnect.com.au CATEGORY: V; MSR; A; H RATING: PG (a racy PG...) SUMMARY: It's New Year's Day, and Mr & Mrs Fox Mulder are still remembering (and arguing) about an old case. TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: "First Person Shooter", "Requiem", aspects of season eight. This is part of Vickie's and my "New Millennium" series. It is set directly after "Kicking Butt in the New Millennium", which was posted to celebrate our one year anniversary of the series and M&S's wedding anniversary in the stories. Not every season seven episode occurs in this alternate universe, and some we have bent to our wills <G>. ARCHIVE INFO: It goes to Gossamer through xff. Can be archived anywhere as long as my name, addy and disclaimer stay intact. FEEDBACK: Love it. THANKS TO: Vickie, Gerry, Suzanne and Debbie for all the work and patience. And a note to Nikki - I hope this fulfils a few requirements you mentioned <G>. The stories in this series are available at my website: http://tenxffic.tripod.com DISCLAIMER: The X-Files, the episodes referred to, Mulder and Scully and all other characters from the show belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will be gained. Characters not recognised from the show are Vickie's or mine. "Getting Some in the New Millennium" (1/1) By Ten, 6-7 & 9-11 January 2001 xXx Mulder Residence Georgetown Early morning 1 January 2001 Scully stared in disbelief at her husband. This man was supposed to possess a photographic memory? Not for his own foibles, of course. Heaven forbid! "Fox... The tale that you just told has in no way backed up your assertion that you can always perform sexually after being injured." "That's because I haven't finished it yet!" Mulder replied defensively, sitting up straighter against the piled pillows of their bed. "Oh no," Dana said firmly. "*I* am going to finish it." xXx Silicon Valley, California First Person Shooter Corporate Headquarters April 27, 2000 Around 11pm We're out. We're out of the game. I hope. It's a little room anyway - I think it's a holding module. From the slightly distorted reflections that the polished metal walls are showing me as I lie on the floor, it looks bare of cyber trimmings and 'cyberbabe'. I turn my head towards Mulder. I think I can hear that he is still breathing as he lies beside me, but with my heart pounding and my blood pumping, I want some visual proof. Oh. Okay. In 'Much Ado About Nothing', no-nonsense Beatrice remarks that she can see a church by daylight. Well, it might be twilight in this holding module, but I can see there's one heck of a steeple in my husband's pants. It could be just the codpiece though. Or I could be seeing what I want to see... He's definitely staring at me with this expression like I'm Joan of Arc and I've just led my army to victory, but the intentions on his face are clearly anything but saintly, even though sunglasses are hiding his eyes from me. Come to think of it, I'm feeling that way too. That outfit he's wearing shows off all his attributes in stereo and the physical exertion and adrenalin rush we just went through has magnified it. We've had the foreplay, now I want - Oh damn, lust and love aren't the only things on his face. "Mulder, you're bleeding." I hope that didn't sound plaintive. Or furious. But inside, I'm raging. Not again! Shi...I mean, sheesh, the man can get injured even in cyberspace! Don't get me wrong. At least he's not missing his hands or his head. And playing Doctor or Nurse Dana can be quite fun in the privacy of our bedroom - when Mulder is healthy and fit for some serious fantasy mischief. But now I'm all hormoned up with no chance to come. Great. Brilliant. I disregard one 'head' in favour of the other, which in a way is just as well as the Gunmen chose this moment to discover us. I glare at them. They still owe me for the Vegas debacle. Dragging us out to Silicon Valley to help salvage their stupid video shooter game... Mulder might be inwardly thanking them for getting to meet Jade Blue Afterglow; however at the moment they are up there next to Maitreya on my 'blow the crap out of' list. Well, I did blast Maitreya - about 2309 times total, at the rate she kept popping back up - so I can cross her off now. Hopefully for good. The Gunmen are practically falling over us with relief, helping us up. Byers wilts under my glare. Okay, I know the Gunmen weren't personally responsible for creating that cyber 'sex kitten', but that sort of female exploitation and these violent games really bug me. Though I did it. I won the game! Yes! I shelve my satisfaction to take another look at Mulder as we leave the holding module. He's taken his glasses off and is still giving me the bedroom eyes look. Once we get back out into some decent lighting, I need to check him for concussion. Most people would say that if someone is concussed, getting laid is the last thing on their mind. My husband is not most people. At the moment it is ALL that is on his mind. No room for pain. For half a minute. The spirit is willing, but unfortunately the damaged flesh starts to protest and override his hormone/adrenalin surge. Mulder starts talking gibberish and sways. And from the way that he's now staring at Langly like he's got two heads, he must be seeing double to cap it all off. He comes within an inch of throwing up too. At this, the computer technicians Ivan and Phoebe made themselves scarce, Ivan muttering something about checking the control room. He will be dealt with. The Gunmen help me get Mulder to the car then they stay back, worried that I'll slay them on the spot. As I drive off, they're clustered on the sidewalk like boys outside the principal's office. Mulder works out that I'm going to take him to the hospital instead of to our motel. He protests. Insists he doesn't have a concussion. The only ache he wants taken care of is the one located below his belt. He is very clear in spelling that out to me. Very convincing. I want to believe. I mean, can the man - even my man - possibly be this horny if he were THAT concussed? The exit to the hospital is coming up. Should I or shouldn't I? He does seem okay now, and I feel like a pressurised kettle set to explode - but not with anger. I pass the exit. And Mulder barfs up his dinner. Dammit. He couldn't have held his cookies for fifteen, twenty minutes more? Just until our business was done? Or if he was going to throw up anywhere, why not on the floor in the First Person Shooter Corporation building? That would have been a fitting statement on their product. But, throw up he has. Okay, NOW I am set to explode with anger. I am now morally, legally, ethically and personally obliged to get Mulder to the hospital, and to not get any myself tonight. Not only that, but we've lost our rental car deposit for sure. I won the game, but if this is victory, it sucks. xXx The hospital staff set to the task of undressing my husband, a job that I had been hoping to have the pleasure of in the privacy of our motel room. I wish I could ask them to spare that sleeveless shirt that shows off his muscular arms and torso so well. I'll just have to buy him another. I thought that Keanu Reeves looked great in 'The Matrix'. Mulder looked even better. We are being looked at with amusement and, in some cases, a degree of disdain. I realise that not only is Mulder's outfit creating ripples but I'm still in my entire combat gear outfit, complete with yellow paint 'kill shot'. I didn't have time to change or discard the vest or even think about that. They probably think that Mulder and I got too carried away on some ridiculous juvenile paintballing adventure. I hear the nurse who is starting to apply scissors to Mulder's pants declare caustically, "Men. The size of their codpiece is always a total exaggeration." A few seconds later she gives an awestruck: "Oh my!" From then on I don't hear boo from her. She just keeps working with a stunned expression. Hey honey, watch where you snip please... I've got an investment in that package that I fully intend to cash in at the first opportunity I get. I have to distract myself from my hormone overload. I try to think about the case. I can't believe that it was the female computer programmer, Phoebe, who created Maitreya. Okay, a female kick-ass superhero was her retaliation against the testosterone she was forced to endure with Ivan and the game-heads, but Maitreya was still such a complete pander to the male fantasy of a perfect woman that it wasn't serving our cause at all. An impossible fantasy female. Okay, Jade Blue Afterglow may have been a very much flesh and blood model for the psycho babe, but I bet a lot of silicone and nips and tucks made her that way. And how both Ms Afterglow and Maitreya were dressed... Just thinking about that offends me all over again. Yes, of course, bondage her up in leather! Then a little voice in my head reminds me of the sexy leather pants I bought as a wedding present for Mulder. That was a present with definite intent, as much for my pleasure as for his... Though that was for the privacy of our own bedroom, not the world at large! Perhaps when Mulder saw both Jade and Maitreya, he started to miss his video collection a tiny bit - which he hasn't bothered with since we got married - and couldn't resist trying the game on for size. My husband may be a unique man, but he is still a man and when Jade Blue Afterglow was sitting there in that interrogation room in basically nothing but lingerie, he couldn't help but be affected. Part of it may have been to play to all the male cops clustered outside the room, and to wind me up a bit. Well, I'll just have to make him forget all about Jade and Maitreya. The sooner, the better! There is no way now that First Person Shooter will be shipped out as a game, but Ivan and his investors might pitch a fit about these 'non-disclosure' stun suits being worn outside the development company building. Screw them. Screw the rental car company too for the fit they are going to pitch about the state of the inside of their rental car. In the mood I'm in at the moment, getting one of those First Person Shooter guns and getting back into that game and letting rip at cyber baddies seems very appealing. Which is very worrying. xXx Next day Silicon Valley: We're finally back at the motel. Mulder had a CAT scan and fortunately his brain and skull are fine. The cut on his forehead just needed some steri-strips to close it instead of stitches. Yadda yadda yadda. So, he was ready to go. But not hot to trot. Because, unfortunately, we're both so exhausted and achy that sleep is the only thing we're good for at the moment. The rampaging tide of our hormones seems a lifetime away. We did get some sleep at the hospital, but not of good quality - hospitals used to try to keep people with head injuries awake, then got upset if the patients got drowsy, so now they let the patient sleep, but awaken them frequently and do neuro checks. So every time that Mulder got disturbed, I'd wake up too. The poor excuse for a chair I was uncomfortably scrunched in gave me as big a headache as the one my husband had. Not to mention all the paperwork and checklists and admin procedures and discussions with the local law enforcement and the phone discussions I had with Skinner... Though at least he told us we could take a few days to come back from Silicon Valley. Recover a bit. He just wanted the preliminary report emailed to him as soon as I have the chance. I wonder if we're going to be put on administration leave because Mulder and I both fired guns during this case. Well, the guns weren't actually ours and they were cyber bullets and I think I fired mine the abovementioned 2309 times, so the paperwork will certainly be interesting. For now though, I simply curl up with my husband, being careful that I don't bump the bandage on his head, and go to sleep. xXx The Gunmen came round to check on us - worried and guilty. I was still too tired to torture them properly. Frohike went and fetched us some take out, then they retired to their own motel, insisting that we phone if they could be of any help. There was some shopping I wanted done, but there was no way I was going to get them to do it for me. xXx Eventually I feel human enough to do and send the preliminary report and go do my shopping. When I return, Mulder is showing signs of interest in things other than sleep. "What have you got there?" He tries to peer at the bags I'm carrying. It isn't double vision anymore - the room is still dim. "Something," I reply with deliberate vagueness. I put the bags down in the bathroom, then come out, boosting the lights a bit. My husband looks very rumpled but reasonably recovered, sprawled out on the bed. "Headache?" "Nope, not now." "Good. But you looked like you were trying to give yourself one when I came in just now." "Just thinking about the shooter game." He's supposed to be the psychologist, not me. "Mulder, it had such an effect on you, apart from the obvious reasons, because when you get right down to it, men still haven't lost that caveman aspect which makes them feel they should be out hunting down a tiger or a deer or defending their home and hearth by going to war. Paintball and shooter games seem to be seen as equivalents or substitutes in this day and age." He gives me a look. "You didn't even mention going off on quests or discovering lost cities. Actually, come to think of it, hunting down a sabre tooth tiger sometimes seems more achievable to me than getting an alien or proving their existence. Or getting to the bottom of the Consortium's plans." He looks despondent at that. That isn't what I wanted. I give him a gentle poke. "Hey, perhaps not so impossible. After all, you got us together eventually, didn't you? That was quite a feat." He grins. "Actually, I was thinking about the game for another motive instead of analysing myself and my gender - because I was hoping to recapture the mood we were in before we were so rudely interrupted when we came out of it. Remember?" "I've been thinking about that too. Give me a few minutes." I kiss him on the cheek and disappear into the bathroom before he can comment. Soon... "You seemed to like this on me, Fox." I step out into the bedroom in a mock-up of my First Person Shooter combat gear. That's got the eyes glowing. "My own personal warrior princess." I grin. I'm turning Mulder on while showing a lot less than Xena and Maitreya did. "So, you like?" "I certainly do, though too bad you didn't get to keep and pack that big gun that went along with it." "Fox, I intend to play with that big gun right there in your constant possession." I get a good reaction from that. Two actually. A nice big leer on his face and... Then I see his confusion as I hold up my hand in a 'but just one minute' signal and duck into the bathroom. There I quickly shed the body amour. Then I return to the bedroom, just wearing what I had on underneath. 'Just wearing' is a fitting expression, considering it is the closest I could find to Jade Blue Afterglow's interrogation room outfit. "Or do you prefer this?" I model provocatively. Hey, it's not like I'm going to pose for 'Playboy' in it. And I bought him some revealing little outfits too. Mulder makes a noise. It's a squeak. "I know I'm not exactly built like Ms Afterglow..." "Dana, this is better." "That's nice of you to say." "I'm telling the truth. With her I could only look. With you, I can look and touch." He does indeed. xXx Mulder Residence Georgetown Early morning 1 January 2001 "See - I did too perform." "Yes, days or weeks after being discharged after each hospitalisation, but not right away!" "Ah, but sweet wife, I never stated or claimed that I could 'straight away'. Just that I DID perform." "That's a very shaky argument." "Let's ask an impartial third party then." At this, Mulder put his hands on the baby-mound and leaned his face in close. "You agree with Dad, don't you, kiddo? Kick once for yes and twice for no." Two firm kicks were quickly delivered, an inch from Mulder's nose. Scully burst out laughing. Mulder took this with dignified grace. "Must be a girl. No pony for you on your sixth birthday, miss." "Knowing you, Mulder, you'll produce one on her or his *fifth* birthday." "Then I won't be making a liar out of myself, will I?" Scully shook her head at her impossible man, then looked down at her rather full figure. It seemed hard to believe that it was going to get even bigger before this child was ready to come out into the world. "What are you thinking?" Mulder asked, sitting back against their pillows and leaning in close. "That there's no way I'd fit into that Jade Blue Afterglow ensemble at the moment..." "True, but I don't mind. That's a small price to pay. And you stored the outfit -" "If you could call it that." "- in a drawer around here somewhere, so one day it can be brought out of retirement." "Well, I've certainly got the chest for it at the moment." Mulder opened his mouth to comment, but then a thought seemed to strike him. "What?" Scully asked. "You know, you were quite scornful of the whole first person shooter thing, the big guns and skimpy cyberbabes, with guys getting their ya-yas off through them, but when we got out of the game, YOU were charged, and more than ready for some bedroom action with MY gun." She felt a strong urge to kill him, but that would just prove his observation and, more importantly, it would leave their baby fatherless. *That* had been too much of a possibility last year without making it a reality now. "YOU had that effect on me, Mulder. You in that outfit. NOT the game itself." Her husband gave her a shrewd look, then obviously decided that either way he won, so dropped it. His tongue might have stopped, but his hand started up, rubbing her thigh. Then he looked at the alarm clock, which was near the bottle of apple cider and their empty glasses, and his hand stopped and dropped. "Wow, I didn't realise it was that late..." "Time flies. It was quite a year, wasn't it?" she said softly, looking into his eyes. "Quite a lot of ups and downs." He stroked her abdomen. "And this is a great 'up' to start this year on. Literally." His hand twitched towards her thigh again, then he moved it away, looking reluctant but determined. "Now we'd better get under the covers and get some sleep." Scully looked at him, startled. He asked her what was wrong. "I could ask you that. We recreated our first kiss. I thought you wanted to recreate more than just that too," she said. Mulder put on his 'here I am trying to be on my best behaviour' face. "Yeah, but that was before we got into reminiscing and now it's very late and you're probably worn out and I thought I was being a considerate and sensitive new aged man by offering to hold out until morning!" "Mulder, most of you can be as soft and sensitive as you like. There's just one part of you that I want hard. For the next while, at least. Let's make our own brand of entertainment." They did indeed. EPILOGUE: April 2001 In the middle of the electronics store, Mulder's cellphone rang. "Mulder." "It's Langly." 'Gunmen' Mulder mouthed to his wife, who was about ten yards away. She nodded and went back to her shopping. Langly sounded edgy. "Did you say you were going to the mall today?" "Yeah, shopping with my girls. We just got here. Why, do you need me to pick up some milk for you or something?" he asked mockingly. "Uh, no. What store are you in? "Best Buy." Mulder wondered where this was leading to. "I think you might want to swing by their video games section. Alone." "Guys... If this is some informant -" Langly sounded anxious. "It's not. Just do it, man. You'll see. And we knew nothing about it until just now, you hear?" "About what?" Mulder asked in exasperation, but the line had already gone dead. He sighed and looked around. That particular section was nearby. Okay then... Dana was examining a rack of CDs absorbedly, the empty stroller at her elbow as she held their sleeping daughter, but he was able to catch her attention and indicate where he was going. Scully nodded, clearly thinking that he was bored and wanted to go look at some gadgets, then returned to her perusal while gently rocking Elissa. Mulder started along the first aisle of the video games section. "This had better be good..." Then he stopped dead. There in front of his eyes was a display for a new computer game. Part of it was a large cardboard cutout of the main character. His wife. Dazedly, his eyes travelled down the cutout's body. It was definitely Scully's head and no-nonsense expression - albeit with a dose of her bedroom eyes look thrown in as well. The chest...well, his wife's breastfeeding breasts were around that size, but hers were contained by a nice maternity bra at the moment - the leather thong outfit the cutout was wearing was doing little to contain or tame her assets. Just enough to keep the censors happy. 'Miss Adventure'. Ha ha. Very. Maitreya and Dana hybridised. The cutout was holding two guns. Mulder slowly realised that one was aimed directly at his heart. The other was being aimed from her hip, right at... Ouch. The promo material was extolling how this new cybermistress was even better than Xena or Lara Croft. 'She doesn't want anything to inhibit her adventures!" Yeah, Mulder thought, especially not clothes. Well, the Gunmen weren't responsible for this - though they were probably getting out of town right now for a while - but he knew who was responsible. Somehow that prick had gotten it onto the market, and as a computer game... "Mulder, what are you -" Scully halted beside him and sucked in a horrified breath. Mulder hastily took the baby off her. He watched his wife's horror rapidly turn into indignation and anger as she stared at the display. The light of battle was rising in her eyes. He could hear the wheels in Scully's mind churning out a plan of action and revenge on the spot. Extremely painful revenge. Mulder looked down at his daughter. It would probably be best if she was bottle fed the next time she was hungry, because more than just Dana's blood would be boiling at the moment... "It's Ivan season, hon, and Mommy's going hunting." xXx Flickering light and shadows painted Ivan's face as his cybermistress kicked some serious butt on the screen. His satisfied grin grew wider as he admired Miss Adventure's curves and attitude. Then he got so distracted that he didn't react swiftly enough to an onscreen baddy's appearance, and his goddess lost a life. Oh well, if THAT was the only flaw in the game, he could live with it. The customers would too. He wondered if Agent Scully would shoot him now that the game was on the shelves. The thought that she would come after him with her gun was a turn-on rather than a deterrent, he noted with satisfaction. What a woman! Then the phone rang - and somehow it managed to do so in a very ominous manner indeed... THE END. Thanks to the talented Gerry Hill for her input into the last paragraphs!