Title: SLAM! Author: Vickie Moseley Summary: It all starts with the slamming of a door. Spoilers: I don't think so, maybe all things Category: V, MSR, H Rating: PG with wishful R thinkings Disclaimer: I had to do it, Chris. You asked for it. You started this whole thing, hiding important information off camera. I'm just following your lead. Oh, and I won't take any money for this, either. Archive: Yes Finished: August 19, 2000 Comments: I couldn't stop them. They just grabbed the keyboard and wrote this themselves. I'd love to hear what you think and if I need to be checking out the phone book for 'psychiatrists'. SLAM! By Vickie Moseley vickiemoseley1978@yahoo.com It started with the slamming of a door. SLAM! The wood reverberated with the force of a pound of C-4 as the metal knob made yet another dent in the drywall, the poor catch having sheered off a couple of years before. But the voices didn't echo the sound of the door. If anything, they were hushed and strained. "I did not abandon you up there, Mulder. I simply said there wasn't sufficient evidence to back up your theory." "So, in other words, 'Mulder's whistling out his ass again, sir', doesn't constitute a failure to provide support?" "I never said that! And furthermore, don't give me that 'failure to provide support' shit! You know perfectly well that I provided more than enough support for the rest of your analysis. But I told you before we went up there that I wasn't going to blanketly come to the same conclusion you did when there wasn't enough -" " 'Evidence to back up my theory', yeah, Scully I've heard this before. Just a few minutes ago and in front of our boss, as I remember, but that's beside the point. How can you stand there and tell me that you're just going to ignore something that scared the shit out of you three short days ago?" "I am not ignoring anything, Mulder. I admit I was shaken, but I was not scared shitless! As soon as I realized there was nothing there, I calmed down. There is a huge difference. Mulder, you are blowing this thing completely out of proportion!" "ME? I'm blowing this out of proportion? Listen to yourself? What do you think you're doing? I knew this would happen! I just knew it!" "What is that supposed to mean?" "You know perfectly well what I mean. I mean that since we've started sleeping together, everything has become personal!" "Lower. Your. Voice. And for your information, whether we're sleeping together or not has nothing to do with this. This is a case, Mulder. We are talking about a case. And you are accusing me of ignoring the evidence and failing to back you up. I'm telling you that you are reading too much into what we saw. If I'm not mistaken, that is the sum and substance of every other fight we've ever had in this office, so how is this any different? Well? Mulder? How is this different? Oh, now I get it. The silent treatment. Well, Mister, two can play that game." SLAM! SLAM! "No! Wait a minute! This is my damned office, too, so you can get out!" "Excuse me?" "You heard me, Mulder. I used plain English. I said 'Get out'!" "Yeah, right. Who's gonna make me? OK, enough of the look, Scully. I'm leaving, but don't come looking for me later!" SLAM! "Damn that man! I can't believe he . . . damn, he left his coat. Wind chill of 17 degrees outside and he doesn't take his coat. His does it on purpose, I know he does. It's just so I'll run after him like some moonsick . . . ah, shit. He's right, this has gotten personal. Well, now what do I do? If I go after him to give him his coat, he'll think I'm apologizing. If I stay here, he'll just run outside, like the stupid male he is, and catch pneumonia and spend another week in the hospital, three more weeks at home complaining and rearranging my cupboards again. No, I'm not going to go hunting for my good wooden salad bowl for a day and a half just because he's pissed me off." SLAM! SLAM! "I'm not back, I forgot -- Where the hell did she go? And where's my damned coat? Well, I'm not going to freeze my ass off outside without a coat. I did that this morning, thank you very much. I can not believe her! Just decides to ignore everything she's seen. Just tucks it all behind her mind as easily as she tucks that damned strand of hair behind her ear. Well, if she thinks I'm going to let her forget it, she's got another thing coming! She was shaking like a leaf. Took me an hour to get her calmed down. Hell, it took me half an hour to quit shaking myself, but she was so bad off she didn't notice. Hell, I'm hungry. I'm not sticking around here. I'm going up to the cafeteria and get food poisoning. That'll serve her right!" SLAM! SLAM! "Where the hell is he? He's not in the lab, his car is in the parking garage, Jerry at the front desk hasn't seen him. I know. He's hiding. He's down in the stacks, digging around in the old files, he'll probably come back with another wild ass case to go run off on. Well, this time, I'm putting my foot down. We haven't had a weekend off in two months and I'm sick and tired of it! Mom asked me to Sunday dinner four weeks ago and I've had to call her up three weeks in a row to say I couldn't make it. This time, he can go off on his own. He can run after his wild geese, send me a postcard for all I care! I will not go out of town this weekend! Geez, it's that late? An hour past lunch? My stomach is growling and I'm not getting anything done down here. I might as well get something to eat. Hope the yogurt isn't out of date again." SLAM! Some time later. SLAM! "Mulder, we said we wouldn't do this in the office!" "Shhh, Scully I think you got some yogurt behind your left ear. I'm just wiping it off." "With your tongue? Oh, yeah, there. If you look hard enough, there might be some behind the other ear, too." "God, Scully, I didn't get any down my pants, did I?" "It was a food fight, Mulder. You got cherry cheesecake yogurt everywhere!" "Oh, yeah, yeah, uh, to the right, oh, YEEEEEES!" "Mulder?" "What, my love. Name it. It's yours!" "Close the damn door." SLAM! The end.